Every once in a while someone asks you a simple question in such a way that the lights go on and reality becomes crystal clear. Your perception and understanding change in a split second.
I was sitting in a conference in Los Cabo Mexico last weekend with about 150 highly motivated people when I had that kind of epiphany. I was listening to the speaker talk about Level 10 Living. This was not the first time I had encountered these ideas but all the elements converged and the message really hit home.
It started with the statement:
"You attract to yourself what you are…not what you wish to be."
He continued to say “When there is in-congruence in your environment, it is because there is a disconnect between who you are being and who you think you are”. Okay... I can live with that. I’ve worked really hard in the last 8 years to live a congruent life; being more of who I am instead of trying to be something I’m not and living according to my core values.
What the presenter said next was the light bulb moment.
"If there is chaos in your life it is because you've attracted it."
Hmm. Maybe what's going on in my life isn't exactly chaos but I do tend to run on high octane walking the tight rope between being busily productive and speeds of Mach 10 with hair on fire. You get the picture. (Those of you who know me are grinning now.)
I began to think of the patterns and themes of my life. (A helpful exercise. If you’ve never done it…you might consider adding this activity to your next planning or meditation session.)
A similar "Aha! Moment" in the mid-90’s prompted a round of personal work examining my choices. I realized I was responsible for my choices and was able to get out of my own way by eliminating quite a bit of self defeating behavior. Within a short period of time I went from being a victim of my circumstances to being responsible for the direction of my life. As a matter of fact, the consulting practice I’ve built and coaching model I use today are a result of that initial epiphany.
I realized I was responsible for my choices and was able to eliminate quite a bit of my own self defeating behavior. Within a short period of time I went from being a victim of my circumstances to being responsible for the direction of my life. As a matter of fact, the consulting practice I’ve built and coaching model I use today are a result of that initial epiphany.I went from being stressed out, hard to live with, struggling with intense periods of depression to feeling in control, getting increased results with less effort, greater fulfillment and definitely being more fun! (You can learn how to identify and change self-defeating behavior in my e-book "The Busy People’s Guide to Getting UnStuck.")
You may be asking, “If you learned the lesson once, why are you here again?” Good question! I realized I was at a new crossroads when I considered more of the reflection questions asked in Cabo.
“What emotion do I want more of in my life right now? Which do I want less of?”
For whatever reason I'd drifted into a space where I let external factors dictate my choices rather than choosing proactively and responsibly. When I looked at what was going on in my life, the people who were in it, where I was spending my time, the primary emotions on a daily basis, and how much of it created a chaos of sorts that was incongruent with my values, I had the punch in the gut. You know that feeling—the ache in your belly when you realize you are responsible for the situation you are in.
I got it...big time. My busyness factor had zoomed past "balanced" and was compromising my core values. I had a choice to make. It was within my ability to get back in charge of creating my environment and the experience for those around me. I’ve spent time every day since then thinking and making different choices.
The following questions were presented at the Level 10 Living Conference. These have been so helpful to me and I want to pass them on to you. Ask yourself:
Five years in the future: What and where will I be? What will I manifest?
Check your state: Am I a victim or responsible for my choices?
What have I created in my life this far? What have I chosen that has created this reality? (Am I blaming external factors? Do I see that I chose my response or made an active decision that resulted in my current reality?)
What am I choosing now on purpose to create a life I've never had?
Who am I...really? Not just who I think I am. This is what will impact what is attracted to me so I’d better figure it out.
What is the one thing in my life that is missing most at this point in time?
What emotion do I want more of?
What emotion do I want less of?
Bring this into short term perspective:
100 days from now what do you want in your life?
Picture yourself the first week in January 2010. What do you want in your business? What will you be doing? Feeling? Who will you be with?
What you want is within your reach…based on the choices you make right now. The results you get are up to you. Connectworks wants to partner with you to get what you want in the next 100 days. If you are interested in participating in a select focus group with ongoing follow up, please email us here. You will receive an intake form and instructions for the next step!