A Little Perspective Goes a Long Way
on Thursday, November 12, 2009
Due to the synchronicity of events I recently had a month out of the country with limited access to technology and lots of time to think. I was in Mexico for a three week stay at a medical spa with my best friend. We were at this particular location (a holistic oncology center) at this point in time because my dear friend, after finding a lump, had been diagnosed with an invasive breast cancer and required immediate treatment. The size of the lump and her family health history increased the urgency and concern.
Best friends since 12, our friendship created a safe haven to dig deep into some heavy topics. I was looking at life from a business and balance mindset, she as a single mom with 6 kids. I felt we came up with some enlightened key elements of focus for the next year that would create significantly different outcomes than what we had experienced before. If we want a future we’ve never had, we have to make different choices. I touched on the power of this kind of choice in last month’s newsletter which you can read here.
Like you, I want I something different in 2010. I don’t just want different, I want more of some things and less of others. The frenzied nature of 2009 must be put in the past. The first step in doing so is to get crystal clear. What do I truly want? More and less of? More joy, more peace, more laughter, richer relationships, new experiences, exciting projects and opportunities that lead to profit, and less stress, chaos, unproductive meetings, negativity, small world thinking…you get my drift. Now, answer those same questions for yourself. As I mentioned in last month’s newsletter, this is a good place to start. What do you want more of? And less of?
If you could magically (or practically) step out of your life for a few moments, observe and reflect on the life you’ve created, what would you discover? I say, if you can find space in your life to do this what you learn could change your life forever. This is the beginning of perspective.
As I am fine tuning the year end activities and launching 2010 I am articulating my commitments in fresh ways and encourage you to do the same.
My Commitments for 2010
Increase margins – You know how you find yourself running from event to event, appointment to appointment only to find yourself with a list of things to do that can only be done on the weekend or late night? If so, you know what I mean when I say you have no margin in your schedule. When I reflected, I asked myself “Do you really want to continue on this path of lightening speed? Who do you think you are impressing? What have you given up in exchange for this crazy schedule? “ The gift of having no work schedule for 3 weeks was returning with clarity of what was really important to me for the upcoming months.
Strategy to increase margins:
- Time: Evaluate what has permission to get on my calendar. Proactively I will decide to block time for activities and events that meet the following criteria. The activity has to be high payoff in terms of leverage or client time, professional network, professional development, or personal recharge. No more hyper-speed for me. I am getting back to doing life with purpose.
- Adding value: Expand my offering to increase the value to my clients and prospects so they derive even greater value and allow me to serve with greater effectiveness and intimacy.
Eliminate Sabotage – Our tendency is to look all around us for the things that are keeping us from success when the real culprit is very close. After today, look no further. The chief saboteur of your business success is YOU! How we run our business and life sets us up for success or mediocrity. Personally, I’m determined to raise the bar both internally and externally. What is good about this understanding is that you are in complete control to make a change…TODAY!
Strategies to eliminate sabotage:
- Say NO. The easiest way to get too busy is by saying YES when we mean NO. My first step is to reframe what saying NO means to me. This means I am not simply saying “No” so I don’t over commit. It means I am saying “No” to things that are not truly win-win. I will also say “No” to my tendency to tolerate environments that aren’t supportive. I have big goals for 2010 and assessing my strengths and optimum work rhythm are imperative in this next year so I can scale back and focus. This means looking at my memberships, volunteer efforts, strategic alliances, clients, personal time…nothing is sacred as I re-evaluate what needs to change.
I found myself over the last few years over optimistically saying “Yes” to organizations I wanted to support and people I wanted to encourage. What I found is that I could not give my full attention to the needs of the organization and was racing to keep my word. This is not a position of strength. Having one foot in and one foot out also kept others who could be contributing from their full opportunity as well. Noticing this was the final straw is compelling me to say “No” more often.
- Check my head and personal space. When I took the time this month to envision what the next 3-5 years might hold for Connectworks I have to admit I discovered some pretty insidious self talk in the deep recesses of my mind. As a matter of fact, this was the key question at the coaching conference last month that increased my awareness of the need for housekeeping when I returned to my “real” life. When I asked myself what I see myself manifesting in the future in 3-5 years I could clearly see that some of the relationships I was nurturing were not supporting that vision. An “aha” moment indeed. I am in the process of re-writing my personal script and finding new ways to engage in relationships that serve my long term goals.
Find Confidence in the Contradiction – I trust there will always be a gap between where we are and where we want to be. This is the contradiction. The tension between is an excellent fuel to keep us moving forward but if unchecked can actually keep us stuck.. Waking up every day to see the sunrise over the ocean and view the sunset every night in beautiful surroundings with my dear friend increased my understanding of how to use this tension to propel instead of keeping us in work (or striving) mode. We all have a picture in our mind of a future state whether we’ve clarified or articulated it or not. And we spend our entire lives striving to create or search for the magic formula (a business model, a man or woman, a partnership, etc.) to unlock the secret. We fail to realize he secret has always been within us. Unless we find understanding to leverage the tension in a state of contradiction our subconscious will strive to resolve it.
Strategies to find confidence in the contradiction:
- Be in the NOW! Accept there will always be a gap between where you are and where you want to be. Commit to your best every day. Notice your positive movement. When you are fully present and have a clear vision where you are headed your subconscious will pull you toward your goal regardless of the apparent contradiction in the present.
- Surround yourself with people who “get it.” There is a place of grace for those who are moving toward their goals. We understand that we are doing the best we can every day to not only move ourselves forward but bring others along as well. There is no judgment as each find their way, only affirmation and acknowledgement for staying in the game and doing the work to position yourself for recover. Find those pockets of people who will be your allies.
I went to Mexico to support my friend but was given a huge gift myself; the gift of a new perspective on my life and what I could do to manifest more of what I want. What if you stepped out of your reality for a weekend or even an afternoon? What could you discover? It can be as easy as asking yourself what emotions do you want more of in 2010? What do you want less of? Go on to ask yourself where you’d like to see yourself in December 2010? If you can’t see yourself there, chances are you won’t achieve it.
Sometimes we need the help of another person’s perspective to get outside of ourselves. A member of the Connectworks Team can serve as that sounding board. To take advantage of the Connectworks 20 minute laser coaching session or attend a Coffee Talk for Busy People drop us an email. As always, we have many events happening online and throughout the Portland Metropolitan community.
Your partner in discovering more business and more life!
Kathie & the Connectworks Team
Connectworks Newsletter
------------------To your success!
Kathie Nelson
http://www.KathieNelson.com